Thursday, 18 September 2014

Pen or Pencil down your vote for Scotland

Pic: Lisa Ferguson from Edinburgh Evening News

As passions are running high on the issue of Scottish independence, the reliability of the pencil is called into question too. The very nature of graphite is causing concerns. The fickle pencils are not considered appropriate to mark the ballot paper on such a momentous occasion. What if some behind-the-scenes erasing takes place? NO supporters disguised as independent officials and armed with erasers well-hidden under their traitorous sleeves can alter the referendum result under the very eyes of YES representatives. "The real vote of 18th September may be nobbled," fears the Independent Scot. YES voters can not possibly rely on the pencils polling stations traditionally provide. Let us not forget too that the very first pencil was an English invention going back to that dark and stormy night of 1564 in the Lake District. Och, never trust the English and their fickle pencils. Pens on the other hand can absolutely be trusted to keep their own on paper. And is it a coincidence that one of the first self-filling pens was invented by none other than a Scot, Thomas William Thomson? So YES voters say NO THANKS to the pencil. But fear not because an Electoral Commission official has confirmed that Yes You Can use your own pen to mark the ballot paper.
So bring your own pen, Scots. (Just vote wisely).

Good luck.

1 comment:

  1. Had to chuckle a bit over this one, Palimpsest. Vote fraud, real or purported, and so-called vote suppression are perennials on the American political landscape. Thus, we've had all sorts of electromechanical, and more recently, electronic devices to register and tabulate votes. I'm not sure any device will stop the occasional political hardy from claiming he'd been wrongfully denied victory because of some fiddle with the voting machines.

    We do have a write-in provision available. If Mickey Mouse is your choice for Congress, you may register that with a stylus on an electronic screen. Jack/USA